Any Dream Will Do?

When I was in Kenya I spent most weekends in the swimming pool. I love swimming and I always have done and one thing that I have always wanted to do is to be a synchronised swimmer. My mum and dad used to call me a little dolphin because you would rarely see my head above water, I was forever doing handstands and rolls and flips and holding my breath for as long as I could. A couple joined us in Kenya for about a month, Lorna and Ken. Lorna would tell me how I should grab every opportunity and not let something pass because I didn't have the time - if I wanted to do synchronised swimming I should look to find my nearest group and join in! Good advice perhaps. The only problem is that there just is no time to do everything that I would like to do! When I get to be 70 and I look back on my life and think of all the things I didn't get the chance to do, will I be sad at what I have missed out on? Or do we ultimately have to choose just a couple of things that we really enjoy and do them well?

I love to sing, I love to perform. At university I played a part in an amateur dramatics performance of Godspell. I absolutely loved it, after a weekend of performances it was all over and 2 months of rehearsals had come to their conclusion. What a dream it would be to sing and dance and act in a musical...

I love to sing. At university I was a member of 2 college based choirs and the thrill of rehearsing and perfecting a piece of music as a group then to perform it in a church or a cathedral or a chapel was so rewarding. I have happily continued to sing in choirs since leaving college and thoroughly enjoyed my current choir's performance of Karl Jenkins' The Armed Man just before Christmas. Next year I hope to join a huge number of people from choral societies across the country to perfom the whole work at the Albert Hall. Now that is a dream come true!

I find history fascinating. I studied it at university along with teacher training but really miss studying it now that I am working. I have always been fascinated by Time Team and archaeology and even researched the possibility of studying archaeology through the Open University last year before I got my current job. I doubt I would ever have got so far as applying but it certainly crossed my mind!

Yesterday I was looking at the books on my shelves in my bedroom at my parent's house and took down a book called Krabat by Otfried Preussler. I won it as a prize for throwing myself fully into my German exchange trip when I was at high school. I began to read it, but much like children who choose books that are beyond their vocabulary range, I soon became tired and put it back down. I would love to study German again, go to Germany and get to grips with the language properly, something I never managed to achieve at A Level.

I love church and I love God and I love telling children and adults alike stories from the Bible and helping to make them come to life. How often do I sit in church, itching to get involved more, reading, singing, preaching. It would give me great joy to learn how do get better involved and to be involved officially.

But finally I love children and I love teaching. And that is what I do for a living and, for the moment, what I adore doing.

How is it possible to do all the many things that I would dream to do? Or yet do I combine all the things that I enjoy best in a job that I can do well and put my heart and my soul into it.

A reflection on studentdom and my oldfogieness

This week I have been to visit Cranmer Hall in Durham. I loved the place and I loved the people but it caused me to think about being a student and how I am not one anymore. I had thought that I would love to go back to the student way of life, I'm not long graduated in the first place and being a student was brilliant. For some reason when I arrived I expected that my bedroom would have a bathroom in the near vacinity, which it did, but without a shower. When I woke up in the morning I had to think about where I could go to find a shower? would I have to queue when I found it? did that affect how early I should get up? would it be alright to go in my pyjamas and return to my room only wrapped in my towel? Such are factors of studentdom that I had conveniently forgotten, particularly as I lived in a shared house and not in a hall of residence since I was in my second year and even when I was in my first year the halls were arranged into flats so the issue wasn't quite the same.

On leaving Durham I travelled north to Newcastle to visit my friend from home who has just started university there. She is living in the largest and most sprawling hall of residence that I have ever known... there are over 1000 first year students all living within the same complex. This caused me to reflect on different aspects of studentdom... Slumming it has never really been a problem for me, I enjoy camping and I'm not adverse to lying on the floor, so spending a night on the floor of my friend's student room didn't phase me. Until her fellow corridor dwellers arrived home in the early hours of the morning a little worse for the wear. Clearly they have never learnt that when you arrive home late it is polite to whisper so that you don't wake up those of us who went to bed at a more sociable hour. There was much slamming of doors and loud drunken conversations right outside our room about why another girl who was clearly far past her best should be left to sleep. I was not best pleased. And I was sore from lying on the floor just to add to the joy. My friend slept soundly through it, she has obviously become a heavy sleeper in response.

As a result of these experiences I have discovered that:
I don't like sleeping on the floor,
I don't like people who talk loudly when they should be sleeping,
I DO like living in a house with its own bathroom,
I have become old and grumpy.

Not good.

New Wine

I have returned from a very wet week at Newark - New Wine North in the Midlands... It has been a fabulous week despite the weather.

I have been working on team again, working in Boulder Gang, the kids groups for 10-11 year olds which joined up with Rock Solid (8-9s) in the evening. This year I was given some responsibility after 2 years of being a group leader and was this time round an age group leader - taking responsibility, along with another, for the 10 year olds and their leaders. In some ways I missed the daily contact with the same 30 children, learning their names and really getting to know them, instead I found I learnt very few children's names. A week is a very short period of time to get to know so many children even as a group leader when you fill in the register every morning and evening, but learning 4 times as many names without this advantage is somewhat of an impossibility. However, I did feel that I got to know the team this year. In previous years I have only turned up to do my bit, got to know the children and other leaders in my group and then gone back to the tent at the end of the session. I have never really felt to have been a part of the team before, and as such was most surprised to have been asked to take on an age group leader's role. It has been a real privilege to get to know other members of the team, where they are at and a small part of their story.

Most of all, though, I have learnt so very much from the children. As the week progresses you see them settle into the programme and the worship and can almost visibly see their faith grow. One girl in particular made an impact on me, I prayed for her in the morning as she was distressed about her home situation and at the end of the evening session she came up to me to tell me of how God had spoken to her that night with words and pictures of encouragement that he will always be with her. It bowled me away.

It has certainly been a tiring week, working on team doesn't leave a lot of free time and I have spent next to no time with my church at all, but I wouldn't have swapped it for anything.

Generous God

I volunteered myself to do the All Age Service at church this morning. Two weeks ago it seemed like a good idea, and it was, I enjoy doing them, but it didn't seem like such a good idea when I was still at the cinema at midnight last night!! I told the story of Zacchaeus using a few volunteers from the congregation to act it out as I read it. I particularly enjoyed choosing a little 4 year old girl to play Zacchaeus who then stood on a chair in the pulpit when she was climbing the tree. My volunteer for the crowd was hoping for an Oscar I think - he really put his all into the performance - it was fabulous!! I love storytelling, though I still very much rely on a script rather than being spontaneous, it keeps me on track! As part of my talk I gave a bunch of flowers to a random member of the congregation, I had been going to use balloons and children, but due to the lateness of actually finishing my talk and then getting to the corner shop half an hour before the service, they didn't have any balloons and I had to rethink - but actually I think it worked better with flowers, and I really enjoyed being able to show that lady a small snippet of God's generosity to her.

Cornered... no escape...

Tomorrow I am all set to meet the new Bishop of Lancaster. The vicar collared me ouside church this morning and suggested I go to the 'Welcome to Lancashire' service or 'Hello this is the Kirkham deanery' or whatever it is in Lund tomorrow evening. He said a lady from church was going and I could speak to her... I thought, mmm... then he turned away and she was there offering to pick me up at ten to seven! So no music group for me tomorrow night... and I have been instructed to make myself known. There is no escape!

Called?

There is an interesting discussion about calling and vocation going on at the Cartoonblog today. When I have more time and am not in the middle of making tea I will comment myself.

http://www.cartoonchurch.com/blog/2006/10/04/are-you-called/