Have been to Spring Harvest in Skeggy again this year, returning on Maundy Thursdy (that's how we say it up 'ere..!). There was much to reflect on whilst I was there, particularly with the difficulties that I've been having with church lately (which mostly accounts for the lack of blogging to be honest).
The theme for Spring Harvest this year is Apprentice: Walking the way of Christ. The first day was spent almost entirely in learning about learning styles, the leadership having taken the decision to organise us according to the best way that each of us learns as individuals. We were grouped into Pragmatist, Theorist, Reflector and Activist. By the end of the first day the 4 friends of us who went together were a bit weary of hearing about learning styles - 2 of us are trained teachers and the other 2 studied Christian Ministry at St Martin's College (now the University of Cumbria) and had covered all this kind of stuff ad infinitum before. A particular disappointment on the first day was to go to the activist stream only to be lectured on how activists don't like to sit and listen but like to get up and do things.... touch of irony there.
Fortunately, the remainder of the week was not spent telling us about what we would learn as the week progressed and we actually got stuck into the subject matter. I ended up going along to the Pragmatist stream (where I had intended on going initially - I ended up in the Activist stream on the first day almost by accident) and I was challenged throughout by both Steve Chalke and his colleague Jill Rowe. I am particularly happy to see how Steve Chalke really seems to have guided Spring Harvest towards a more social action/social justice route than I remember from a few years back. Along with my own recent dealings with church it has really caused me to consider what a Christian community really is and what it is called to do.
Steve Chalke responded to one question in a way that interested me greatly. The question was about how to do things for the community that didn't openly and ostentatiously have Jesus and by default evangelism as their purpose and driving force. And it interested me because I agreed so whole heartedly with his answer, but don't often hear it preached. He said that Jesus called us to love God with heart, mind and strength but equally to love our neighbour as ourselves. Not to evangelise our neighbours but to love them.
That is our purpose. Our beginning, our end, our driving force. If we have in the back of all that we do "we are doing this so that we can do that..." is that truely loving our neighbour? It's not about bums on seats, it's not about how many church run events we can have, it's not about how good we are at this or how good we are at that. It's about loving for the sake of loving. It is loving and expecting nothing in return.
And that is the greatest challenge. How can I be that person that loves unconditionally and where can I act out that love? How can we break down our constricting barriers of church and return to what we were called first to be?
Maybe being in the workplace is the best place to be. What a priveleged position I am in that I can not only teach a whole class of children but I can love them just for being themselves. I can show love to my colleagues as we go about the school day. And maybe as a school community we can take that love out into the village community. Maybe those children will go out and be loving wherever they may end up in the world.
And now I've got all bleary eyed and hopeful and ....
Yes, I'm a dreamer. And I'm here to stay.
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Church Christmas Card
It's that time of year again - the Church Christmas Card time of year. With Sarah being on staff now she was designated buyer of needed resources. After much work having been done on the foyer of the church we were this year restricted to a much smaller board space (we reassured Dave that we were not going to be stapling to the walls this year...)
It seems that each year we get a little bit more ambitious with our lettering, going from 'Have a heavenly Christmas' the first year to 'We have seen His star in the East and we have come to worship him' last year, to the epic lettering of 5 of our most favourite lines from carols and Christmas songs this year - 'Unto us a child is born, unto us a Son is given Joyful all ye nations rise, join the triumph of the skies And their hearts believed again for the peace of men Can this tiny light set a world on fire Come, bow down and worship; come let's worship the king'. After borrowing a Big Shot die cutter, cutting out the lettering took most of yesterday evening, but that was only a small part of the job - setting out the words so that they would fit nicely onto the border was a much greater challenge! We had estimated accurately, however, and the words that we had chosen fit comfortably on the available space.
We then carefully fixed garden meshing to the backing by attaching garden wire with staples to the board and then twisting it on to fix it. We made a manger for the middle of the board and attached it in the same way then finally rounded the whole thing off with some wired gold ribbon wound around the whole board. There were moments when I never believed that we would get it finished but Sarah and I are, once again, thoroughly proud of the result!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Having a ball
Last week church held a ball. Why? Why not?!
It was a good excuse to wear pretty dresses!
It was a good excuse to wear pretty dresses!
Thursday, August 07, 2008
New Wine N&E 2008
I have recently returned from another enjoyable week at that Christian gathering, New Wine (North and East). It tickles me that they have added 'East' into the name this year, perhaps realising that it gives the name some credibility; Newark not really being in the north....
*Warning: this post has become excessively long!*
I have been working on Boulder Gang again this year, the children's group for 10-11 year olds. In the evening they join with Rock Solid (8-9s) for Dream:Factory which is entirely led from the front with silly games, praise and worship songs, a talk and response and the inevitable gunging. As last year I took on the role of 'Age Group Leader' again for the 10s. Even more so this year I felt like I got to know my team and really tried to own my role. It is difficult to get to know the children's names when you don't own just one group of 30+ but are general overseer of upwards of 100 10 year olds. I really made the effort this year to sit in with the groups in the evenings and to try to engage with the kids. I did, however, get asked on more than one occasion if I was a yellow... or if I was a red... or whose group I was supposed to be in? Explaining that you're in all groups is a bit tricky! The children are quick to pick up on a hierarchy that I was keen to avoid - my role really is a whole lot less important than the group leaders who are the ones building real relationships, praying for and encouraging their group of children.
On the first day as everyone started to arrive I was overjoyed to be walking through the site when one of the children, recognising me from previous years, waved enthusiastically at me! What a lift it gave me! As the week progressed I remembered why I take this bus man's holiday each year. Although exhausting, I am convinced that I learn an awful lot more about God and about myself from the children than I would if I were an adult delegate going to the main meetings and going to seminars. Each day begins at 7.45 with a team meeting and worship before the doors open at 8.45. The morning sessions consist of a short together time with the 10s and 11s then onto rotations which take up the majority of the morning. The rotations are sport, craft, floating activity (this just means that it is different everyday, for example one day it might be learning a dance and the next day it might be science etc) and finally application. Application is the teaching slot which links into the evening talk and gives the group leaders a chance to talk to the children about their responses and to pray in different ways for what has been brought up. Finally the morning ends with half an hour of together time for 10s and 11s, some action songs and some silly games, finishing at 12.30. I seem to spend the majority of the mornings taking groups of children on toilet runs!! I think that in the morning craft is a very important time, that is when the leaders really have a chance to sit down on a table with some of their group, get to know them and chat to them about things that matter to them. I am convinced that craft time is vastly underrated in its value.
In the afternoons team members can do things like go to seminars and such like. I do nothing. Last year Sarah and I decided that we would not try to do anything extra in the afternoons - the children's work is tiring enough without trying to overdo it! Fortunately we were blessed with good weather this year which is so so very important when you go as a single person... sounds daft I'm sure, but it's mightily difficult to be sociable with the rest of your church when it is raining and everyone is holed up in their tents or else out at seminars. When the weather is good everyone congregates outside and it's so much easier to go up and join a group. This year our housegroup were mostly camped together slightly apart from the rest of the church group (not because they are antisocial but because the area we had been given to camp on was considerably too small for the number of people and tents we had to camp on it!) and so afternoons were generally spent chatting and lazing about outside someone else's tent, housegroup or not.
Evenings start again for the worker at 5.45 with another team meeting and worship time followed by doors opening for Dream:Factory at 6.45. This year our evening themes followed the story of Peter. There was also somewhat of an emphasis on healing this year, which I can't say I was entirely comfortable with. It seemed a bit falsely hyped as a result of the Florida thing (I suspect) and I was uncomfortable with so much focus on physical healing when I would suggest that most children suffer more from emotional scars like family break ups, bullying and friendship problems and feelings of self worth more than with their eczema. I did have to eat my thoughts, however, when a child who had fallen earlier in the week and broken their arm, had been to hospital and had a temporary cast put on it then was prayed for one evening and when they went back to the hospital their arm was no longer broken and they did not need to put another cast on it! I agree that that is an amazing story of God's healing power. Though as with many I struggle with why God heals some people and not others... a struggle I doubt will ever get resolved!
I was forever blown away by the privilege it is to pray with children, something that has been a growth in me completely over the last few years. I don't remember much about New Wine in Harrogate, but I remember being completely paralysed with fear 3 years ago when group leaders were asked to come to the front to pray for the children that had come forward in response to something. Then I didn't move and hoped that no-one would notice that I, a group leader, was still sat down. This year I had no such inhibitions and relished the opportunity to pray encouragement and strength into a child's life.
By 10pm my team worker's day was done. Just enough time to spend a little while with church people in the 'wine tent' for a drink and nibble and then it was time to go to bed ready to do it all again the next day!
I'll be back again next year. For sure.
*Warning: this post has become excessively long!*
I have been working on Boulder Gang again this year, the children's group for 10-11 year olds. In the evening they join with Rock Solid (8-9s) for Dream:Factory which is entirely led from the front with silly games, praise and worship songs, a talk and response and the inevitable gunging. As last year I took on the role of 'Age Group Leader' again for the 10s. Even more so this year I felt like I got to know my team and really tried to own my role. It is difficult to get to know the children's names when you don't own just one group of 30+ but are general overseer of upwards of 100 10 year olds. I really made the effort this year to sit in with the groups in the evenings and to try to engage with the kids. I did, however, get asked on more than one occasion if I was a yellow... or if I was a red... or whose group I was supposed to be in? Explaining that you're in all groups is a bit tricky! The children are quick to pick up on a hierarchy that I was keen to avoid - my role really is a whole lot less important than the group leaders who are the ones building real relationships, praying for and encouraging their group of children.
On the first day as everyone started to arrive I was overjoyed to be walking through the site when one of the children, recognising me from previous years, waved enthusiastically at me! What a lift it gave me! As the week progressed I remembered why I take this bus man's holiday each year. Although exhausting, I am convinced that I learn an awful lot more about God and about myself from the children than I would if I were an adult delegate going to the main meetings and going to seminars. Each day begins at 7.45 with a team meeting and worship before the doors open at 8.45. The morning sessions consist of a short together time with the 10s and 11s then onto rotations which take up the majority of the morning. The rotations are sport, craft, floating activity (this just means that it is different everyday, for example one day it might be learning a dance and the next day it might be science etc) and finally application. Application is the teaching slot which links into the evening talk and gives the group leaders a chance to talk to the children about their responses and to pray in different ways for what has been brought up. Finally the morning ends with half an hour of together time for 10s and 11s, some action songs and some silly games, finishing at 12.30. I seem to spend the majority of the mornings taking groups of children on toilet runs!! I think that in the morning craft is a very important time, that is when the leaders really have a chance to sit down on a table with some of their group, get to know them and chat to them about things that matter to them. I am convinced that craft time is vastly underrated in its value.
In the afternoons team members can do things like go to seminars and such like. I do nothing. Last year Sarah and I decided that we would not try to do anything extra in the afternoons - the children's work is tiring enough without trying to overdo it! Fortunately we were blessed with good weather this year which is so so very important when you go as a single person... sounds daft I'm sure, but it's mightily difficult to be sociable with the rest of your church when it is raining and everyone is holed up in their tents or else out at seminars. When the weather is good everyone congregates outside and it's so much easier to go up and join a group. This year our housegroup were mostly camped together slightly apart from the rest of the church group (not because they are antisocial but because the area we had been given to camp on was considerably too small for the number of people and tents we had to camp on it!) and so afternoons were generally spent chatting and lazing about outside someone else's tent, housegroup or not.
Evenings start again for the worker at 5.45 with another team meeting and worship time followed by doors opening for Dream:Factory at 6.45. This year our evening themes followed the story of Peter. There was also somewhat of an emphasis on healing this year, which I can't say I was entirely comfortable with. It seemed a bit falsely hyped as a result of the Florida thing (I suspect) and I was uncomfortable with so much focus on physical healing when I would suggest that most children suffer more from emotional scars like family break ups, bullying and friendship problems and feelings of self worth more than with their eczema. I did have to eat my thoughts, however, when a child who had fallen earlier in the week and broken their arm, had been to hospital and had a temporary cast put on it then was prayed for one evening and when they went back to the hospital their arm was no longer broken and they did not need to put another cast on it! I agree that that is an amazing story of God's healing power. Though as with many I struggle with why God heals some people and not others... a struggle I doubt will ever get resolved!
I was forever blown away by the privilege it is to pray with children, something that has been a growth in me completely over the last few years. I don't remember much about New Wine in Harrogate, but I remember being completely paralysed with fear 3 years ago when group leaders were asked to come to the front to pray for the children that had come forward in response to something. Then I didn't move and hoped that no-one would notice that I, a group leader, was still sat down. This year I had no such inhibitions and relished the opportunity to pray encouragement and strength into a child's life.
By 10pm my team worker's day was done. Just enough time to spend a little while with church people in the 'wine tent' for a drink and nibble and then it was time to go to bed ready to do it all again the next day!
I'll be back again next year. For sure.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Oasis for women, words from the Lord and too much cheese
Yesterday was another of the wonderful women's days at church. Theme this time - self esteem and body image. On arrival there was a warmly laid out room with artwork from previous days and church events, tables set out cafe style, soft drinks and chocolate. Oh and chocolate. There were two chocolate fountains and copious numbers of strawberries, grapes and marshmallows.
As the afternoon got underway the Oasis planning team sat down in a panel on comfy chairs at the front. Connie described it as looking like Loose Women... and so it was! We discussed power and weakness, children, women's roles, how we feel about our bodies, colonic irrigation (that was a rather unpleasant aside!) and watched a clip of How To Look Good Naked (also quite cringeworthy, I shudder at the very thought!)
After much discussion, laughter and chocolate eating (I ate far, far too much!) we broke up into groups of 3 to pray for each other. It was one of those pressurised times that I really hate. Sarah and I got split up deliberately which annoyed me somewhat, not allowed to pray with friends obviously, and another two ladies joined me at my table. We numbered ourselves 1-3 then numbers 2 and 3 prayed for number 1 for 2 minutes and then were given another couple of minutes to share with that person what they had heard from God for them. Now, call me a cynic (Cynic! Cynic! I hear you cry) but I'm not really sure God works like that... "alright, Lord, you have 2 minutes in which to give me something specific for this one person that will mean something to them or encourage them; nothing airy fairy please..." Anyway, as I was praying for the first lady I was desperately hoping for something wildly exciting to happen or well anything really that I could share with her after 2 minutes. Perhaps my mind was far too consumed with the pressure of having to think of anything at all that I'd probably lost a minute of praying time in fretting! As I was praying a tune appeared in my head, "hooray!" I thought, "A word from the Lord!" and so I sang it through in my head to work out what it was.... only to discover that it was the Clover advert... So not that holy then. I didn't bother to share it. It reminded me of a talk that Jeff Lucas gave at Spring Harvest once where he described obscure 'words and pictures' that he's received in prayer meetings before speaking engagements. "Bless you, love", he thought, "I think you've been eating too much cheese!"
Too much sugar in my case perhaps?!
As the afternoon got underway the Oasis planning team sat down in a panel on comfy chairs at the front. Connie described it as looking like Loose Women... and so it was! We discussed power and weakness, children, women's roles, how we feel about our bodies, colonic irrigation (that was a rather unpleasant aside!) and watched a clip of How To Look Good Naked (also quite cringeworthy, I shudder at the very thought!)
After much discussion, laughter and chocolate eating (I ate far, far too much!) we broke up into groups of 3 to pray for each other. It was one of those pressurised times that I really hate. Sarah and I got split up deliberately which annoyed me somewhat, not allowed to pray with friends obviously, and another two ladies joined me at my table. We numbered ourselves 1-3 then numbers 2 and 3 prayed for number 1 for 2 minutes and then were given another couple of minutes to share with that person what they had heard from God for them. Now, call me a cynic (Cynic! Cynic! I hear you cry) but I'm not really sure God works like that... "alright, Lord, you have 2 minutes in which to give me something specific for this one person that will mean something to them or encourage them; nothing airy fairy please..." Anyway, as I was praying for the first lady I was desperately hoping for something wildly exciting to happen or well anything really that I could share with her after 2 minutes. Perhaps my mind was far too consumed with the pressure of having to think of anything at all that I'd probably lost a minute of praying time in fretting! As I was praying a tune appeared in my head, "hooray!" I thought, "A word from the Lord!" and so I sang it through in my head to work out what it was.... only to discover that it was the Clover advert... So not that holy then. I didn't bother to share it. It reminded me of a talk that Jeff Lucas gave at Spring Harvest once where he described obscure 'words and pictures' that he's received in prayer meetings before speaking engagements. "Bless you, love", he thought, "I think you've been eating too much cheese!"
Too much sugar in my case perhaps?!
Monday, March 24, 2008
Easter and the joy of Bank Holidays
On Thursday after school I found myself wishing that there was no Bank Holiday this weekend - our KS2 production is next week and still needs quite a bit of work. If only we had Friday and Monday to work on it, I thought... But yet Easter seems to have been lost this week for me. It is such an opportunity to be in school during Holy Week and our school really tried to make the most of it. Except for my class and Year 5 who spent the whole week rehearsing like mad.
At school on Thursday the Year 2s performed their Easter assembly in church, retelling the story of Easter. It was the most moving account that I have ever seen. The part which really got me was when one child playing Jesus was kneeling at the front of church praying in the Garden of Gethsemene and a few others were sleeping around him when another group came charging up the aisle shouting "Get him!" at the top of their voices. I was choked. They took him down the other aisle and then a few minutes later came stumbling down the aisle again, this time with a cardboard cross tied to his arms. More than anything else this year, that will stick in my mind.
On Maundy Thursday evening I was helping to lead a meditation at church. I had organised a group of instrumentalists to play some Taize (unheard of at my church normally) and surprised myself by taking the lead. I had to, because I was in charge, but I surprised myself nontheless! I have sung Taize at my old church many times in the music group but have never had to think about what instrument to play when and how to build it up and then back down again. I thoroughly enjoyed the arrangements that we made and I'm itching to do it again!!
On Good Friday I played a small part in a Passion play at church. It was very moving indeed. There were a number of places, like stages around the church and a cast of three who moved from scene to scene forming a tableau on each stage as they went around. A narrator guided the congregation to follow each of these tableaux around the church, forming the crowd at Jerusalem arriving for Passover. Then there were a number more of us who read out the characters' parts as the story progressed. At one point in the story we became agitators, stirring the crowd to shout for Barrabas' release and Jesus' crucifixion. The most moving part for me was when three or four men who had been readers like me carried the cross from the back of the church, pushing through the gathered crowd to place the cross at the front.
The rest of Friday I spent with a friend talking and talking, walking and eating, drinking tea (because the cafe had no hot chocolate!) and talking some more. There was a lot to talk about.
On Sunday morning I was on the rota for operating the computer screens at church. I wonder what it is that means I get the most difficult services? I think the last time I was on the rota was for Tabernacles - another manic service! And with there being such a large gap since I was last on the rota I inevitably arrived having completely forgotten how to work the complicated maze of cameras, computers and DVD players. Church was so packed that there was about 10 people who had to stand behind me because there were no more seats and many more were squeezed onto rows and sitting on the steps on the balconies. One of the young people came and offered to help which I was very grateful for and so I placed him on the camera - one less thing to have to worry about, if he queued up the camera I could just switch to it.
And so now I am glad that I have been made to stop this weekend, stop thinking about school and the production at least. It has forced me to think about Easter and to reflect upon Jesus dying and rising again. After all, what is more important in life? A school production? Perhaps not.
At school on Thursday the Year 2s performed their Easter assembly in church, retelling the story of Easter. It was the most moving account that I have ever seen. The part which really got me was when one child playing Jesus was kneeling at the front of church praying in the Garden of Gethsemene and a few others were sleeping around him when another group came charging up the aisle shouting "Get him!" at the top of their voices. I was choked. They took him down the other aisle and then a few minutes later came stumbling down the aisle again, this time with a cardboard cross tied to his arms. More than anything else this year, that will stick in my mind.
On Maundy Thursday evening I was helping to lead a meditation at church. I had organised a group of instrumentalists to play some Taize (unheard of at my church normally) and surprised myself by taking the lead. I had to, because I was in charge, but I surprised myself nontheless! I have sung Taize at my old church many times in the music group but have never had to think about what instrument to play when and how to build it up and then back down again. I thoroughly enjoyed the arrangements that we made and I'm itching to do it again!!
On Good Friday I played a small part in a Passion play at church. It was very moving indeed. There were a number of places, like stages around the church and a cast of three who moved from scene to scene forming a tableau on each stage as they went around. A narrator guided the congregation to follow each of these tableaux around the church, forming the crowd at Jerusalem arriving for Passover. Then there were a number more of us who read out the characters' parts as the story progressed. At one point in the story we became agitators, stirring the crowd to shout for Barrabas' release and Jesus' crucifixion. The most moving part for me was when three or four men who had been readers like me carried the cross from the back of the church, pushing through the gathered crowd to place the cross at the front.
The rest of Friday I spent with a friend talking and talking, walking and eating, drinking tea (because the cafe had no hot chocolate!) and talking some more. There was a lot to talk about.
On Sunday morning I was on the rota for operating the computer screens at church. I wonder what it is that means I get the most difficult services? I think the last time I was on the rota was for Tabernacles - another manic service! And with there being such a large gap since I was last on the rota I inevitably arrived having completely forgotten how to work the complicated maze of cameras, computers and DVD players. Church was so packed that there was about 10 people who had to stand behind me because there were no more seats and many more were squeezed onto rows and sitting on the steps on the balconies. One of the young people came and offered to help which I was very grateful for and so I placed him on the camera - one less thing to have to worry about, if he queued up the camera I could just switch to it.
And so now I am glad that I have been made to stop this weekend, stop thinking about school and the production at least. It has forced me to think about Easter and to reflect upon Jesus dying and rising again. After all, what is more important in life? A school production? Perhaps not.
Friday, February 22, 2008
LOL MGT
Our housegroup does just what a housegroup should. Over the last 4 and a half years since we first began we have grown and changed and in all fairness are far too large to still function as we should (dare I say the word 'split'?!) but the best thing is how we have got to know each other so well. Our discussions are often thoughtful, sometimes wise, we disagree and we agree, we share and we pray and we eat and we eat and we eat. And we play games. And we eat. We're good at eating.
One member of our housegroup has just started to text and she is hilarious! She is creating a whole new language that only a teenager can interpret, and even then with a little help! There was a discussion this week about whether we should set up a housegroup blog with a column all for her. I think we should.
One member of our housegroup has just started to text and she is hilarious! She is creating a whole new language that only a teenager can interpret, and even then with a little help! There was a discussion this week about whether we should set up a housegroup blog with a column all for her. I think we should.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Doubt
At the moment I am attending a series of discussion groups at church using the book Adventures In Missing The Point by Brian D. McLaren and Tony Campolo. This week we looked at the topic of doubt.
At first I thought it was going to be a pretty pointless discussion, I suspected that everyone would agree that yes it is OK to doubt and that would be it. I was unsurprised to find that everyone in our group did think that it was alright to doubt and we shouldn't be afraid of that, but I was pleasantly surprised by the level of discussion that came out of that.
One person asked whether as a community we were a place where it was acceptable to air doubt and that got me thinking. To tell the truth I don't think that I feel able to express doubt very often, and yet so often I feel plagued by it. There are occasions and places where I feel able to share a snippet of doubt but rarely do I feel able to say, "You know what, I just don't know what's true anymore." Yet for me doubt is something that I hold but I don't allow to take hold of me. It changes too, I don't always hold the same doubts, something that I held firmly before can become something that I don't understand anymore in the same way that something that I just don't get can become a bedrock of my faith.
In a rambly and badly quoting fashion I shared a poem from a children's anthology that I remember reading as a child myself and a story to go with it. With the wonderful aid of the internet, and a brain that hasn't been able to leave it alone all week I have been able to search out the poem and quote it properly here. The poem is When I Was Three by Richard Edwards:
When I was three, I had a friend
Who asked me why bananas bend,
I told him why, but now I'm four
I'm not so sure...
I remember thinking when I first read it that of course I knew why bananas bend and how could you not know that? I also remember a couple of years down the line reading it again and wondering why bananas did bend and wondering what reasoning I had first had that I no longer knew.
How much like faith is this wonderful four line children's poem. One year we can be so certain of why things are the way they are and yet another year down the line things can have changed so much that we're just not so sure anymore.
At first I thought it was going to be a pretty pointless discussion, I suspected that everyone would agree that yes it is OK to doubt and that would be it. I was unsurprised to find that everyone in our group did think that it was alright to doubt and we shouldn't be afraid of that, but I was pleasantly surprised by the level of discussion that came out of that.
One person asked whether as a community we were a place where it was acceptable to air doubt and that got me thinking. To tell the truth I don't think that I feel able to express doubt very often, and yet so often I feel plagued by it. There are occasions and places where I feel able to share a snippet of doubt but rarely do I feel able to say, "You know what, I just don't know what's true anymore." Yet for me doubt is something that I hold but I don't allow to take hold of me. It changes too, I don't always hold the same doubts, something that I held firmly before can become something that I don't understand anymore in the same way that something that I just don't get can become a bedrock of my faith.
In a rambly and badly quoting fashion I shared a poem from a children's anthology that I remember reading as a child myself and a story to go with it. With the wonderful aid of the internet, and a brain that hasn't been able to leave it alone all week I have been able to search out the poem and quote it properly here. The poem is When I Was Three by Richard Edwards:
When I was three, I had a friend
Who asked me why bananas bend,
I told him why, but now I'm four
I'm not so sure...
I remember thinking when I first read it that of course I knew why bananas bend and how could you not know that? I also remember a couple of years down the line reading it again and wondering why bananas did bend and wondering what reasoning I had first had that I no longer knew.
How much like faith is this wonderful four line children's poem. One year we can be so certain of why things are the way they are and yet another year down the line things can have changed so much that we're just not so sure anymore.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Any Dream Will Do?
When I was in Kenya I spent most weekends in the swimming pool. I love swimming and I always have done and one thing that I have always wanted to do is to be a synchronised swimmer. My mum and dad used to call me a little dolphin because you would rarely see my head above water, I was forever doing handstands and rolls and flips and holding my breath for as long as I could. A couple joined us in Kenya for about a month, Lorna and Ken. Lorna would tell me how I should grab every opportunity and not let something pass because I didn't have the time - if I wanted to do synchronised swimming I should look to find my nearest group and join in! Good advice perhaps. The only problem is that there just is no time to do everything that I would like to do! When I get to be 70 and I look back on my life and think of all the things I didn't get the chance to do, will I be sad at what I have missed out on? Or do we ultimately have to choose just a couple of things that we really enjoy and do them well?
I love to sing, I love to perform. At university I played a part in an amateur dramatics performance of Godspell. I absolutely loved it, after a weekend of performances it was all over and 2 months of rehearsals had come to their conclusion. What a dream it would be to sing and dance and act in a musical...
I love to sing. At university I was a member of 2 college based choirs and the thrill of rehearsing and perfecting a piece of music as a group then to perform it in a church or a cathedral or a chapel was so rewarding. I have happily continued to sing in choirs since leaving college and thoroughly enjoyed my current choir's performance of Karl Jenkins' The Armed Man just before Christmas. Next year I hope to join a huge number of people from choral societies across the country to perfom the whole work at the Albert Hall. Now that is a dream come true!
I find history fascinating. I studied it at university along with teacher training but really miss studying it now that I am working. I have always been fascinated by Time Team and archaeology and even researched the possibility of studying archaeology through the Open University last year before I got my current job. I doubt I would ever have got so far as applying but it certainly crossed my mind!
Yesterday I was looking at the books on my shelves in my bedroom at my parent's house and took down a book called Krabat by Otfried Preussler. I won it as a prize for throwing myself fully into my German exchange trip when I was at high school. I began to read it, but much like children who choose books that are beyond their vocabulary range, I soon became tired and put it back down. I would love to study German again, go to Germany and get to grips with the language properly, something I never managed to achieve at A Level.
I love church and I love God and I love telling children and adults alike stories from the Bible and helping to make them come to life. How often do I sit in church, itching to get involved more, reading, singing, preaching. It would give me great joy to learn how do get better involved and to be involved officially.
But finally I love children and I love teaching. And that is what I do for a living and, for the moment, what I adore doing.
How is it possible to do all the many things that I would dream to do? Or yet do I combine all the things that I enjoy best in a job that I can do well and put my heart and my soul into it.
I love to sing, I love to perform. At university I played a part in an amateur dramatics performance of Godspell. I absolutely loved it, after a weekend of performances it was all over and 2 months of rehearsals had come to their conclusion. What a dream it would be to sing and dance and act in a musical...
I love to sing. At university I was a member of 2 college based choirs and the thrill of rehearsing and perfecting a piece of music as a group then to perform it in a church or a cathedral or a chapel was so rewarding. I have happily continued to sing in choirs since leaving college and thoroughly enjoyed my current choir's performance of Karl Jenkins' The Armed Man just before Christmas. Next year I hope to join a huge number of people from choral societies across the country to perfom the whole work at the Albert Hall. Now that is a dream come true!
I find history fascinating. I studied it at university along with teacher training but really miss studying it now that I am working. I have always been fascinated by Time Team and archaeology and even researched the possibility of studying archaeology through the Open University last year before I got my current job. I doubt I would ever have got so far as applying but it certainly crossed my mind!
Yesterday I was looking at the books on my shelves in my bedroom at my parent's house and took down a book called Krabat by Otfried Preussler. I won it as a prize for throwing myself fully into my German exchange trip when I was at high school. I began to read it, but much like children who choose books that are beyond their vocabulary range, I soon became tired and put it back down. I would love to study German again, go to Germany and get to grips with the language properly, something I never managed to achieve at A Level.
I love church and I love God and I love telling children and adults alike stories from the Bible and helping to make them come to life. How often do I sit in church, itching to get involved more, reading, singing, preaching. It would give me great joy to learn how do get better involved and to be involved officially.
But finally I love children and I love teaching. And that is what I do for a living and, for the moment, what I adore doing.
How is it possible to do all the many things that I would dream to do? Or yet do I combine all the things that I enjoy best in a job that I can do well and put my heart and my soul into it.
Saturday, December 08, 2007
The Christmas Card
So, the finished card displayed for all to see. I wanted to wait until people had actually seen it up at church before I posted a picture of it, but here it is now!
Monday, November 26, 2007
The Amazing Christmas Card Number 2
A few weeks of creativity culminated in the second amazing giant Christmas card going up at church. Tis late now, and I'm not giving anything away yet, but here's the beginnings of a creation...
Saturday, November 24, 2007
A declaration of stupidity
Yesterday I went to a women's service at church run by the Oasis for Women team. I ummed and ahed about whether to go for a while, I had a headache and had got back from school late after a school trip. It started at 7.30 for 8 but by the time I had decided to go and walked into town I didn't arrive at church until 8 o'clock. And the doors were shut. So I dillyed and dallied outside wondering how I was going to get in. I tried to prise the doors open with my fingernails but couldn't. I wasn't really wanting to go in the back entrance in case things had already begun and I would walk into the midst of things. I contemplated walking back home again. Then I rang Sarah, thinking if she was in church she could come to the door and let me in, but she hadn't arrived yet. So I thought I'd give the door one more try and maybe push on the door a little to see if I could get a better grip with my fingernails... and the door pushed wide open. I thought the doors opened out when they opened in. It is official, I am stupid!
Sunday, September 09, 2007
A Day of Creative Expression
We had an interesting day yesterday at our church. The women’s group, Oasis, runs occasional events specifically aimed at women. Yesterday’s was ‘A Day of Creative Expression’ involving weaving and movement (not at the same time!). There were 2 giant looms set up between pillars in the church and piles of strips of different types of material for those that fancied working in a team and creating something large and smaller looms on forked sticks for those that would rather create individually. I gravitated towards one of the large looms and we started to create… slowly at first and not quite knowing what we were wanting to make or how it was going to come about. Gradually our weaving started to take some kind of shape, an observer commenting that part of it looked like a waterfall, and so a picture emerged. Debbie spraffed extensively about the meaning behind the colours and shapes and over 2 hours a cave, a waterfall, a sun and a pool of water (complete with fish and sea weed) emerged. It was so much fun weaving and creating and I particularly enjoyed being a part of something greater, working together and chatting as we went along. Besides which, our final creation was rather wonderful! Photo to follow when my computer will allow!
In the afternoon was a ‘movement’ session… not normally my thing really and at times I did struggle not to giggle but everyone joined in and danced the routine at their own pace but all together. Relaxing and calm. A very enjoyable day.
In the afternoon was a ‘movement’ session… not normally my thing really and at times I did struggle not to giggle but everyone joined in and danced the routine at their own pace but all together. Relaxing and calm. A very enjoyable day.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Generous God
I volunteered myself to do the All Age Service at church this morning. Two weeks ago it seemed like a good idea, and it was, I enjoy doing them, but it didn't seem like such a good idea when I was still at the cinema at midnight last night!! I told the story of Zacchaeus using a few volunteers from the congregation to act it out as I read it. I particularly enjoyed choosing a little 4 year old girl to play Zacchaeus who then stood on a chair in the pulpit when she was climbing the tree. My volunteer for the crowd was hoping for an Oscar I think - he really put his all into the performance - it was fabulous!! I love storytelling, though I still very much rely on a script rather than being spontaneous, it keeps me on track! As part of my talk I gave a bunch of flowers to a random member of the congregation, I had been going to use balloons and children, but due to the lateness of actually finishing my talk and then getting to the corner shop half an hour before the service, they didn't have any balloons and I had to rethink - but actually I think it worked better with flowers, and I really enjoyed being able to show that lady a small snippet of God's generosity to her.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Shaping the sofa to fit my behind
Ben was up over the weekend, he is off to Thailand this week with friends for Christmas. We had a mini 'UnChristmas', as Sophie called it, on Sunday when we swapped and opened presents. Ben got me the box set of The Vicar of Dibley, a most superb choice I thought! So I have spent much of the day shaping the sofa to fit my behind and have watched much Vicar of Dibley.
Saturday would have been UnChristmas but it was the choral society's Christmas Concert which had me in rehearsals for 3 hours on Saturday afternoon and then the concert in the evening so it was UnChrismas Eve instead. The concert was fabulous, we were singing Rutter's Gloria and were accompanied by Intrada, a brass band from Preston. The brass really made it, with tingle making crescendos and pounding Timps. When we had finished the Gloria with Rutter's resounding finale I could have sung it again straight away, I was very sad to hand my music in at the end of the evening!
Sunday morning saw music group lead the all age service at church. I had been making puppets all week of many many varieties of birds and an angel (I regretted agreeing to make the puppets when I discovered that all of the characters were birds... not easy to draw!).
In the evening I went up to Lancaster for my final visit before Christmas and went with Sarah and Kieron to the 'Guest Service' at church. It was wonderful to see the all age orchestra, and to hear them and I came away feeling very Christmassy. I also saw our angel from Monday in situ complete with lights shining on his wings to create a colourful effect, fabulous!
Saturday would have been UnChristmas but it was the choral society's Christmas Concert which had me in rehearsals for 3 hours on Saturday afternoon and then the concert in the evening so it was UnChrismas Eve instead. The concert was fabulous, we were singing Rutter's Gloria and were accompanied by Intrada, a brass band from Preston. The brass really made it, with tingle making crescendos and pounding Timps. When we had finished the Gloria with Rutter's resounding finale I could have sung it again straight away, I was very sad to hand my music in at the end of the evening!
Sunday morning saw music group lead the all age service at church. I had been making puppets all week of many many varieties of birds and an angel (I regretted agreeing to make the puppets when I discovered that all of the characters were birds... not easy to draw!).
In the evening I went up to Lancaster for my final visit before Christmas and went with Sarah and Kieron to the 'Guest Service' at church. It was wonderful to see the all age orchestra, and to hear them and I came away feeling very Christmassy. I also saw our angel from Monday in situ complete with lights shining on his wings to create a colourful effect, fabulous!
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Angles, Angles all around
No, not my spelling error... I have been teaching the Christmas story and this is a common misspelling in the books I have marked. One child pointed out to me that her neighbour had written angles instead of angels because they'd been learning all about angles in numeracy recently and had been learning the spelling!
On another angel note, Sarah and I have returned to church to make another angel (back by popular demand!!) this time to go up in church for the Christmas services. We had to go out again to buy the resources so we had different materials to make him out of. As a result he looks much different. I can't quite decide which one I prefer.
The board, expertly put together by Dave and then backed in black.
"Look! It's as big as me!"
The finished angel.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Cornered... no escape...
Tomorrow I am all set to meet the new Bishop of Lancaster. The vicar collared me ouside church this morning and suggested I go to the 'Welcome to Lancashire' service or 'Hello this is the Kirkham deanery' or whatever it is in Lund tomorrow evening. He said a lady from church was going and I could speak to her... I thought, mmm... then he turned away and she was there offering to pick me up at ten to seven! So no music group for me tomorrow night... and I have been instructed to make myself known. There is no escape!
Have a heavenly Christmas!
Please excuse a little pride on my behalf in this post today. Yesterday Sarah and I went to St Tees to create a giant Christmas card. The idea being that members of the congregation make a donation to Operation Christmas Child (the chosen charity) and then add to the giant card instead of sending many cards to lots of church members. The money spent goes to a good cause and there are far fewer cards being sent which pleases the environment.
The design
I borrowed inspiration for the design from the illustrations by Tim Jonke in Bob Hartman's book "A Night The Stars Danced For Joy" (which is also an amazing retelling of the Christmas story). The idea was for us to make a large angel, the angel Gabriel, to go in the centre of the display and then have many smaller angels for people to write their greetings on and then add to the display to create a 'heavenly host'.
The display board in the church is only quite small so we extended the display with the backing paper and then with the border. It took us an hour and a half just to put up the backing paper!! Having bought many different types of sparkly gold and silver paper and material we went to church yesterday to put it all together. We used an overhead of the initial angel design to project onto the board and then used that to draw around the various parts of the angel.
We then assembled all the parts of the angel on the floor so that we could work out where all of the different sections were going to fit together and in which order we would need to staple them to the board.
Finally we attached the angel to the display. We added some schiffon type transparent gold material for the body tied together with ribbon to give it a 3D effect and added the greeting 'Have a heavenly Christmas' to complete the card. I think it is fabulous!!
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Fantastic fairs...
Yes, it was the annual autumn/Christmas fair at church today, always a treat. A particular highlight this year was the tombola from which I won this amazing prize:
Half a set of plastic coasters! In fact, I know it was half a set because another lady won the other three coasters to complete the set! I do believe they truely surpassed themselves this year.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Not the best Taize service ever
Taize service left a little to be desired last night. Actually, that is a little unfair, it was mostly good and fairly well polished (a few slow starts but we sped up once the singers came in) but one chant in particular let us down. Near the end we sang 'veni sancte spiritus', Rachel plucked the notes on her guitar and we started, I couldn't get my note and felt myself flush very red as I shook my head in horror. We stopped and she gave us our notes again. I was singing the same notes and felt ridiculous, it didn't sound right at all but we soldiered on regardless. Fortunately for me (but not for Martin) I was not singing the first cantor part, Martin was, and he couldn't get his note either so warbled around making something up that didn't seem right at all. Then it was my turn to sing cantor (I was wildly praying someone would have stopped the whole farce before I had to embarrass myself) and a bar or two in Jane stopped us again. It turns out Rachel had given us an A minor instead of an A by accident... after getting the correct notes we started for a third time and all was well, though confidence shaken my cantor still left a little to be desired!!
Aside from that disasterous moment the service ran smoothly and I hope we were able to provide a quiet contemplative space for prayer. As a part of a group leading you never can quite judge how things have gone, I feel. No one seemed to notice that my prayers were blatantly thieved by typing 'intercessions remembrance sunday' into google, though I think I'll write my own next time then I won't feel quite so fraudulent. It's not so easy to pray when you feel like a fraud!
Aside from that disasterous moment the service ran smoothly and I hope we were able to provide a quiet contemplative space for prayer. As a part of a group leading you never can quite judge how things have gone, I feel. No one seemed to notice that my prayers were blatantly thieved by typing 'intercessions remembrance sunday' into google, though I think I'll write my own next time then I won't feel quite so fraudulent. It's not so easy to pray when you feel like a fraud!
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